Glitter, Bears, Laughter, Favourites

There are lots of bad things going on. Death/grief is crappy and scary and very very crushing; life is busy and overwhelming; people are complex and confusing. So this isn't a post about any of that. This is a post about all of the good things going on at the moment.

My tutor told me to try and be positive, and to be strong. Most of the time, that sort of thing does my head in. Even when she said it, it was annoying me somewhat. However, I also saw the merits in it, so I'm giving it a go. At the end of every day, I'm uploading a picture to Instagram with the reasons to be happy from that day. I'm finding lots and lots for each day- from big things to little things. I like it, it's a good habit. It's making me smile and be thankful, and it's something wonderful to look back on. It's a reason to be happy in itself.

Today one of my most favourite people and I went Christmas shopping. I spent a lot of money, but it is all in the spirit of making other people happy, and that is how I would like to spend all of my money. I have bought many presents that I hope will bring many smiles. I am really excited to give them, and to see reactions, and to know whether or not I got it right. I really like present-giving. The Christmas shopping itself was fun, too- of course it was, I was with Little One, and she is one of my most favourite people. We laughed a lot, and wore glitter, and had lots of fun. We purchased lots of cats, lots of charity plastic bags, and lots of glitter. It was the perfect way to spend a Saturday really. I am a happy bunny now, albeit a tired one.

Also today I had work. Whilst at work, the parents of one of my clients said that I was the perfect swim teacher for their child, for reasons that I know but am not going to post here. I've been thinking about that all day, and I think that they are right, for reasons I know but am not going to post here. There are lots of other people with the same attributes and experience as me, who would also be perfect swim teachers for this child. But it is me that gets to be that person. I have been feeling out of place a lot lately, and my head is making me feel like maybe I am not right anywhere. I have been feeling a lot like a square peg in a round hole, except there are many holes, and all of them are round. However, I am the perfect swim teacher for this child, and suddenly it feels like everything has aligned, because that is something I fit into, and if there is one occurrence, there will be more. Maybe I do fit in, after all. Maybe I just need to pay better attention.

Whilst we're on the theme of things people have said, one of my wonderful and beautiful friends (another of my most favourite people) posted a lovely lovely Twitter thread about me. All of it was beautiful and heart-warming, and I would be lying if I said I didn't cry a little bit; but the best bit was one line, that said: 'I have never seen someone care so much about people as Becky does'. I really really like that quote, and I wrote it on my arm. I care a lot about people, and sometimes it causes me heartache. This was a compliment and an observation, and one that I am so so happy my friend felt was true. I think this is maybe one of the best things someone has ever said about me.

Another big good thing is that I got an offer from my absolute top choice university. A really good offer, and, provided nothing goes disastrously wrong, I will (touch wood) be there this time next year- at my dream university, in one of my favourite cities, studying one of my favourite subjects. I am super happy about this, especially as I didn't think they would consider me at all, never mind give me a nice offer. I feel strong, and like maybe people are right when they say I am better than I think I am.

Other good things... I am going through my Instagram now. Oh, Tuesday night was brilliant, one of those evenings that you really want to last much longer than it did. It was Christmassy, and funny, and good for the soul. I have also burnt lots of candles this week, so the air smells pretty. I've spent lots of time with friends. I have a new gorgeous piercing, and it's healing well. It was my little sister's birthday last week (another of my most favourite people), and I got to spend time with her- normally we are both busy and our schedules do not get along. That was very very good. Plus there have been lots of supportive people this week. Lots of little moments to smile and be thankful. Many many reasons to be happy.

I am really good at ending blog posts on low notes, and if I was to talk too much about next week, this one would follow the trend. So instead, let's think of glitter and bears and laughter and my most favourite people in this whole world. Glitter and bears and laughter and my most favourite people in this whole world <3