Before I start this, I want to be clear: that I am happy, and that things are good at the moment. They are a bit up and down, a bit all over the place, but, for the most part, they are really freaking good. I am living a life I am both happy with, and proud of. Who could ask for anything more?
That being said, there is a part of me that longs to explore- that longs to live all of those lives I cannot, to adventure the world over. It is like nostalgia, but for other times and other places- things I have not always experienced, but want intensely, in the present.
A lot of these come from things I have watched or read; others from wanting to re-visit past experiences. To keep myself satisfied, I am trying to compile a list- of all the things I want to do, a long term to-do list, because I so want to do them all.
Like I said, it is not that I am dissatisfied, for I am not, not at all. Merely that it does not take much for me to feel stuck, and I am forever wanting to spread my wings further and further. It's this weird not-nostalgia. That's what it is. There is probably a word for it; maybe I will look later.
For now, let's imagine...
The heat of the sun on the van in Gambia, or waking up in the cool dark, showering for another day with the team; running through wheat fields in America, laughing, laughing; New York from a rooftop, busy and bustling and beautiful; Amsterdam, with it's canals and trees and free way of life; a dark evening on a beach in Brighton, walking along, headphones blasting Kodaline; a tiny town in America, working in a restaurant; curling up in a bookshop in Hay-on-Wye; a road trip, with the sun and laughter and the world; American teenagehood, something familiar yet strange and exciting; Efteling, with it's music and adventure; and so on, and so on, and so on.
I hope I have time yet to explore to my heart's content.
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